I first read about Screw Up Tuesday at Crazy Meezer … It was started by Bettina at Dances to the Beet of her own Drum. Here is my screw up Tuesday.

Except it isn’t Tuesday is it? It’s Wednesday. Everyone knows that. Everyone except, apparently, me. I don’t know how but I lost a day somewhere - I think it started when the baby had a weird screamy-crazy-vomity episode on Monday so none of our usual Monday things happened. And to be honest, I don’t know what happened on Tuesday, I have no idea what we did or why I didn’t notice a WHOLE DAY passing by.

In any case, I thought today was Tuesday when I arranged a play date for the boy. And that would have been fine because Tuesday is the day we don’t have any other commitments. Except of course it wasn’t Tuesday at all so I missed our regular, ongoing Wednesday commitment and the worst thing is, I didn’t even realise it until my sister rang me at lunch time and reminded me I was bringing the children over to play and have dinner. “Oh, I thought we’d decided on Wednesday?” … strange silence with both parties realising something is not quite right in the conversation … “Um. It’s Wednesday today, isn’t it. Um. Ooops”.

The thing is, this isn’t really worthy of a blog post in and of itself because this kind of thing happens to me ALL THE TIME. It amazes me that I have been an adult for nearly a decade and a half and I still can’t get my stuff together enough to keep track of the days of the week (even with Ollie on Nick Jr singing that repetitive “stick hot skewers into my ears until they bleed and I can’t hear it anymore” annoying Days of the Week song. Every. Single. Day.)

So here I am at home, late on a Wednesday evening, writing a Tuesday Screw Up post, and thinking about how I’ve run out of milk. Again. And hoping that the two pieces of bread we have left in the house will be fresh enough to make a sandwich for the boy for preschool tomorrow - and if not, will the teachers think I am the slackest mother ever if I have to bring his lunch up later on after I’ve been to the shops to buy bread to make him a sandwich?

Am I the only one who regularly runs out of toilet paper? Even though those bodily functions just go right on functioning I just can’t seem to remember to throw it in the trolley each week. Am I the only one who puts the carefully constructed shopping list in my pocket on the way to the supermarket, only to come home with the pristine note STILL in my pocket, and a pile of shopping that may or may not equate to the items on the list?

To my eternal shame, one year I forgot my anniversary (oh, ok … a few years). I was relieved when I remembered it, thinking my lovely husband had forgotten too. I rang him at work, intending to jibe him gently for forgetting and then have a giggle over our mutual forgetfulness. Except he HADN’T forgotten. He told me to go back upstairs and look on my bedside table, where I found a beautifully wrapped, thoughtful gift and a card full of love, letting me know he’d arranged babysitting so we could go out for dinner. So, not only had I forotten but I’d also totally missed his gift.

Sometimes it really feels like I’m faking this whole “grown up” caper. Not only that - I am responsible for other human beings! There must have been a glitch in the universe when THAT was approved!

Everyone else holds it together better than I do.